A break for the donkey

October 13, 2004

It’s tough being a trash donkey.

And like everything else, some days are harder than others.

Here at Forward Operating Base Warrior, home of 1st Battalion of Arkansas’ 39th Infantry Brigade, the locals call the little white donkey that pulls the trash cart “Hassan.”

The soldiers of battalion simply call him Trash Donkey.

He doesn’t seem to mind either name.

Donkeys like to work — it’s what they’re bred for. And here in Iraq, the donkey may be the most under-appreciated animal around.

They are like the Ford Pinto of animals.

You see them pulling carts everywhere, from interstates where they haul loads of vegetables to market (stay to the left of the donkey!) to city streets where they pull carts of butane for sale.

And here at Warrior, you find Trash Donkey pulling the cart that collects trash from more than 10 buildings in the compound. He moseys from house to house, head down, dutifully pulling his cart. Two Iraqi men ride the cart and dump trash into it at every stop.

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette/STEPHEN B. THORNTON Trash Donkey makes his rounds Oct. 13 at Forward Operating Base Warrior.

On the side of the cart is a painting of Trash Donkey in red spray paint. It doesn’t really do him justice. On the back, “Trush Donke” is written in the same paint.

Imagine saying “Trash Donkey” with a bit of an accent and you’ll figure out how the trash guys got that spelling.

They look at me like I’m crazy when I stop to scratch behind Trash Donkey’s ears. Hey, even a Trash Donkey needs a little tender loving care every now and then.

Lt. Col. Kendall Penn bought Trash Donkey not long ago to relieve the rat problem here. They paid for him to get all of his shots and found a home for him in the grassiest of areas.

Yes, Iraq is full of rats.

The trash bins by the buildings soldiers live in attracted rats. Big ones.

So they moved the bins to the edge of camp, bought a donkey and began daily trash runs.

At first, the cart wasn’t properly adjusted and it rubbed against Trash Donkey’s ... behind. He was deadlined for a while — “deadlined” is the Army’s term for taking a vehicle off the street until it’s fixed — until the sore healed.

“The ass had a sore ass,” Penn joked.

Don’t worry, the hard-working animal is all better.

In his off time, Trash Donkey happily grazes out behind the headquarters building.

Unless, of course, he’s lounging inside.

That’s only happened once. And it was for a good cause — a practical joke.

Yesterday, Maj. Scott Stanger and Lt. Aaron Cater of Farmington led Trash Donkey into Battalion headquarters.

He didn’t want to go at first. But then the air conditioning enticed him, I think.

They led him down the hall, around a corner or two and into Maj. Wayne Parnell’s room.

Parnell, of Wye, is the battalion’s executive officer. He is currently home on Rest and Recuperation leave.

Cater spent time riding Trash Donkey in the room, feeding him out of Parnell’s favorite coffee cup and watching TV with the donkey. All the while, Stanger took pictures, which are now taped to Parnell’s door.

Trash Donkey kind of looks like he’s enjoying himself in most of the pictures, although it’s tough to tell, since every donkey I’ve met over here has that “Woe is me!” look perfected by Winnie the Pooh’s donkey friend Eeyore.

But the last picture shows our white furry friend with a look that says he’s ready to go back to his grazing.

Maybe there wasn’t anything good on TV.

Anyway, Stanger and Cater walked Trash Donkey back through Battalion headquarters so they could take him out the door and around back to his home.

But nothing is that simple with an ass.

In the foyer is a wall of mirrors in the 1980s style so popular in Iraq today.

Trash Donkey saw himself and freaked out.

He was ready to fight.

He started making loud donkey noises and bucking in circles.

Maybe he thought his union contract was up and he was being replaced. Who knows.

Anyway, soldiers came out of the radio room and tactical operations center — the brain of the battalion — saw the angry ass and promptly returned to work, carefully shutting their doors behind them.

Apparently Trash Donkey does not get along well with others — including his own reflection.

“We may be a bunch of Arkansas rednecks, but our knowledge of donkeys is limited. We just don’t have many back home,” Stanger said. “We didn’t know he didn’t like mirrors.”

They finally distracted Trash Donkey enough so he turned his head away from the mirrors and was led back outside.

Today, Trash Donkey happily made his rounds again.

But I’m pretty sure he’s wondering where that other white donkey went to.

Trash Donkey is probably wondering where the air conditioning went, too.

Posted by Amy at October 13, 2004 03:12 PM