Baghdad Elvis

December 21, 2004

It wasn’t easy.

Spc. Brad Niell of Jonesboro didn’t want to do it at first.

He made excuses, flimsy ones. He didn’t have his guitar. It wasn’t the same without the costume.

We weren’t buying a bit of it.

We wanted Elvis and we weren’t taking no for an answer.

I sat there with my cup of coffee in the Judge Advocate Generals office — home of the 39th Brigade’s team of legal minds — and waited for Elvis to appear.

See, among other things Brad Niell is an Elvis impersonator.

Here in Iraq, he investigates claims — requests by Iraqis for payment for damage they allege was caused by coalition forces.

He also entertains the masses with his singing and guitar playing on open microphone night at the chow hall.

And he writes his own songs, like the disturbing yet funny ditty, “If My Nose was Full of Nickels I’d Blow Them All on You.” It’s a love song about a man, his girl and a juke box.

Yep, he’s funny too.

Today, Lt. Col. John Edwards of Little Rock asked Niell to share a little Elvis with us.

“It’s not the same without the costume,” Niell argued. “Up on stage, in costume, you lose yourself.”

He was embarrassed. He didn’t want to do it.

But his arguments were futile.

“Oh, come on!” I whined.

I’ve got a respiratory infection, so my plea sounded very pitiful.

I threw in a cough and a sniffle for good measure and the argument was over.

Niell looked at the floor for a moment.

We didn’t know if he was thinking of a song or an escape route.

Then we heard it.

“I ... I’ll have a blue Christmas, without you,” he sang.

He had the Elvis lip, the Elvis pout, the Elvis lilt, everything.

Cheers rose from the four of us in the office.

Niell belted a couple of lines, then left the building to go to lunch.

It was good. Really good.

Really, what is Christmas without a little Elvis?

Posted by editor at December 21, 2004 05:03 PM